Len’s challenge. Write something without using the letter R.
Sorry, Len. Late again.
@andall’s @eliable Typew@ite@ @epai@ Company,
G@and Ave, @ive@side,
Dea@ M@ @andall,
With @ega@d to the @epai@s you made to my typew@ite@ @ecently, a model @emington To@pedo 18b. I have owned this pa@ticula@ typew@ite@ since it was new, and it has been ve@y @eliable. I sent it to you fo@ a clean and se@vice last month, but when you @etuned it to me, I noticed a majo@ flaw in its ope@ation.
Can you guess what that flaw might be?
That’s @ight, it will no longe@ type the lette@ @… the lette@ @... the lette@ that sits between Q and S. What I get instead is a bloody @.
I mean, what is that @ even called? It didn’t have a @ cha@acte@ when I sent it to you, and now it appea@s in eve@ything I w@ite.
This is especially unfo@tunate, as when I got it back my g@andson was in the p@ocess of applying fo@ a job, and composing his @ésumé was going to be p@oblematic, not to mention his Cove@ Lette@ and Cu@@iculum Vitae. Eve@ything he now types looks like an email gone ho@@ibly w@ong.
I don’t like emails o@ texts. I have @esisted fo@ yea@s the calls f@om my family to go online. And fo@ all that time, my t@usty @emington has been my uncomplaining ally, until now. You have tu@ned it into a twitte@e@, an emaile@, a Facebook poke@. In fact the only thing it if good fo@ now is cu@sing.
And it is ve@y good at cu@sing.
Bu@@e@. Bu@@e@ bl@@dy sh@t. F@@k.
See what I mean? I have not cu@sed as much in my whole life as I did when you @etu@ned my f@eaking typew@ite@ to me. So thank you: you gave me both a @eason fo@ p@ofanity and the means to exp@ess it.
That is the only thing I have to thank you fo@, and as soon as I figu@e out a way to type you@ add@ess in a way that won’t make the postman go postal, I will be @etu@ning the damn thing to you to fix.P@ope@ly.
@oge@ @omeo @adbu@n, the thi@d