satwe interview feb 9/13

Recently I sat down for a chat with Big Mama Mary. Big Mama is a bounty hunter with an attitude as big as her bra size. Most of her FTAs tremble in fear if they know she is after them. She usually gets her prey but lately they have been turning up dead.

Karen V: Mary tell me about your job. What is an FTA? How do you go about looking for them.

BMM:  First of all an FTA is basically a bail jumper. Someone near and dear has put up bail money for the individual as a promise for the person to show up for court. Some people are either afraid of court or they are just jerks and they skip. My job is to hunt these individuals down and haul them in.  I get paid per skip that I collect and the bonds office gets their money back.  I use Department of Motor vehicle traces and visit the last known address.

Karen V. Sounds exciting. What's your success rate?

BMM: Most of the time my capture rate is right up at the top -on the conservative side ninety percent.   My job is pretty routine. I don't haul in too many hard-assed criminals. I intimidate most people by my size as I am five foot ten and a hundred and eighty points soaking wet. Most of the women think I am a total bitch  but the guys are intimidated by my 42DDs. Go figure.

Karen V:  Sounds like fun but I will stay on your good side. So what's up lately? It seems like you have it a rough patch.

BMM: Yes it really sucks lately.  Seems like most of my FTAs are tuning up very dead and my protege Val is not good with blood and gore. She has hurled a few times and it really messes up a crime scene. This really ticks off the CSIs.  I think some one has it out for me as I have lost 3 collections that way.  Hard to pay the rent on no income.  I might have to go back to bouncing at Snake eye Charlies.

Karen V.  Well Mary, thanks for the chat. I always wondered how you make a living doing that. Dawg the bounty hunter makes it look so exciting.

BMM:  You're quite welcome dear. It's all Hollywood for the Dawg. I do more lonely stake outs as I sit in wait and Pam snores.