The Straight Poop

The Straight Poop

As I motor through the neighborhood

On my afternoon walk

Two brash young boys want to know

If I’ve ever “pooped” in my pants.

They know I’m a teacher, so I

See the motive of their callow pleasure

In puerile scatology.

These mean-street kids are a sort of

Long-term project for me.

I respond to their impudent questions

With Socratic ones of my own.

This time, I reflexively answer,

“No, have you?” and the philosopher

Slowly turns in his grave.

As I leave them behind, it comes to me

What I should have said is, “Do you know

When some people get really old,

They can’t help but poop in their pants?”

But then I think these little street urchins

Don’t need to know yet that life circles round:

From diapers to diapers ye shall be.

I think of my warehoused father who

Has lost control of his bowels, his bladder,

And his life, and I can’t help but see

Life as a mirror with existence turned left to right.

Very young and very old are helpless,

But they’re headed in opposite ways.

So much the same at the start and end of the day.

I walk on straight ahead, knowing

That life’s a normal statistical curve.

Chris Brockman

Comments: 31

JOHN BECK Feb 2, 2013, 9:04am UTC

Puerile scatology, indeed! But it stirred contemplation of life's paradoxes. Good one, Chris.

elizabeth evans Feb 2, 2013, 10:35am UTC

Definitely had to look that phrase up.

Chris Brockman Feb 2, 2013, 11:00am UTC

Yep, little boys, many of them anyway, go through a stage where they're fascinated with bodily functions and their products. Plus, there's a thrill with pushing the envelope by saying vulgar words that aren't quite the adult equivalent and are risque' but not likely to get one's mouth washed out with soap. If a guy can say one in front of an authority figure like a teacher and get away with it, that's really an accomplishment!

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Len Maxwell Feb 2, 2013, 1:43pm UTC

Very nicely written. I particularly liked the diapers to diapers thought.

Featured on the Wall of Scatology at The Triple Name Club.

Chris Brockman Feb 2, 2013, 2:52pm UTC

It's a distressing reality for too many older people, an unpleasant reminder of the dependency of the young. Thank you for the feature. I hope not much sticks to that wall.

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David W. Feb 2, 2013, 1:48pm UTC

Life is a circle. My mind is at the beginning the body leans towards the end.

Nice play on a bad question Neat poetry, my friend.

Chris Brockman Feb 2, 2013, 2:56pm UTC

Ah, but the mind at the beginning starts from near zero. God help the poor souls who go all the way back there. I would say your mind is pretty much at the peak, which is considerably close to the older end.

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Pam Brittain Feb 2, 2013, 3:09pm UTC

Yep, even boys have accidents. I've always wondered if in fact the mind at the beginning starts from near zero. It's possible that that mind might know all the secrets of the universe, but can't convey that knowledge. The exception is those that understand baby talk.

Chris Brockman Feb 2, 2013, 3:48pm UTC

If that's true, we forget all those secrets by the time we find a way to convey them.

Pam Brittain Feb 2, 2013, 4:01pm UTC

I've always figured that the baby's soul had to come from somewhere and the little baby must have some idea and knowledge of that somewhere. Course, that's just a thought coming from an agnostic. :)

Chris Brockman Feb 2, 2013, 7:18pm UTC

There are many millions who believe in reincarnation and more specifically karma. I don't know what the "rules" are for remembering previous lives, but I would think that no matter what one did to be born where they are, he oir she wouldn;t want to know.

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Barbary C. Feb 2, 2013, 8:37pm UTC

Sad but well written, Chris. You tackled a hard subject with success.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 4:54pm UTC

Thanks, Barbary. It's the most natural thing in the world. As with many thins natural, however, our human nature gives us the means to mitigate and even take advantage of at least some of the circumstances of growing older. Many of them require well before, however, so younger folks should pay attention-- in more ways than one.

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Mustafa Demiri Feb 2, 2013, 11:23pm UTC

I agee with Barbary... very sad times, but I suppose that there were always children like that.... It's just that there are more of them now, due to the prolific nature of the ignorant.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 4:58pm UTC

These kids are all right, for now. I think they show bad influences, but it will remain up to them, later, to overcome them.

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Bernard C. Feb 3, 2013, 6:10am UTC

Have had similar conversations as well, most amusing though am sure for some folks it is not - Nice write

Thank you for sharing and submitting to
The Surreal Circus.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 5:01pm UTC

Thanks, Bernard. Kids will be kids, whatever their upbringing. I was, at first, somewhat annoyed by these kids, but talking with them in passing, I find them somewhat amusing and even as spurs to poetry.

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Ann Marcaida Feb 3, 2013, 12:32pm UTC

Wow. This poem hits hard. It reminds me a little of Lynn Truss's thoughtful book on etiquette, called Talk to the Hand.

The book contains a list of reasons as to why you should be polite to everyone. Two reasons: 1. They may be much younger than you. 2. They may be much older than you.

Thanks for sharing with Gather's Luminous Writers and Artists. Featured and tweeted.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 5:03pm UTC

It's interesting how some comments have focused on the boys' demeanor and others on the thoughts on aging it provoked. Thanks for the feature, Ann. I do appreciate it.

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Audrey Howitt Feb 3, 2013, 2:04pm UTC

Boy--I just loved this--how could I not read this with a title like that!

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 5:04pm UTC

Now, you couldn't, could you. :-)>

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Granny Janny Feb 3, 2013, 5:25pm UTC

Shift happens. God bless the popper scoopers of the world.
Excellent poem and story and philosophy.

Granny Janny Feb 3, 2013, 5:25pm UTC

Pooper scoopers...mad iPad on the loose.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 5:36pm UTC

Thanks, Jan. Nice play on words. Nature has her finger on that shift key to make ?'s.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 5:36pm UTC

Uh oh, could be a new poem.

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Priya P. Feb 3, 2013, 6:27pm UTC

It's so hard getting old. It seems like just yesterday I was young in love and naive. I miss that innocence. Old age creeps up so fast.

Chris Brockman Feb 3, 2013, 7:02pm UTC

I suppose, but I think of old age as being 100 or so, which I am planning to reach. I think of how many decades it is until then. Then I think of how much happened in that period of my life from birth on. It's easy to see then that there is time left for a whole lot of living. I certainly hope it's not you that you're referring to getting old!

Priya P. Feb 3, 2013, 11:27pm UTC

Of course me! But ..... When you put it that way ..... You are so right.

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William Dotani Feb 4, 2013, 2:55am UTC

The cruel who only want button pushing harm are laying waste to their inner sense of justice and someday Karma will insist they pay the bill.

Chris Brockman Feb 4, 2013, 5:44pm UTC

I'm not sure how this applies to this poem, but Bill Moyers had an interesting and thoughtful (as always) program last week on the use of drones.

William Dotani Feb 5, 2013, 12:35am UTC

I do believe these children tried pushing your buttons.
Sometimes Bill Moyers is interesting, but too often his guests have one-sided views.

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The Straight Poop

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