This does not exactly conform to Pam’s challenge rules this week. I came up with an idea for a post, then re-read the challenge and realised it didn’t match, but couldn’t be bothered coming up with anything new.
I’m lazy like that. Sorry, Pam.
Hey Pat, do you believe in mind control?
What? Of course not.
It’s real. I know ‘cos I can do it.
You can control minds.
Yep. I’m a psychic.
You’re an idiot.
Honest. I was doing it last night.
On Gerald. I made him bark like a dog.
Dude, Gerald is a dog. He’s your Schnauzer.
Yeah, but I made him bark like a German Shepherd.
How is that different from his usual bark?
It’s much deeper... WOOF! Impressive huh?
I’d be more impressed of you made him meow.
I can do it on people too. I’ll show you. Think of a colour. Any colour.
This oughtta be good. Okay then.
Not even close.
Okay then, what colour were you thinking of?
That isn’t a colour! I said a colour! You weren’t even thinking of a colour!
If you were a psychic you would’ve known that.
Okay then, you want proof? I’ll give you proof. I’ll take over your mind.
Go for it.
I made you blink.
No you didn’t. I blink all the time. Everybody does.
Yes I did. I was telling your brain to blink, and it did. I told you so.
All right, let’s assume you actually made me perform an involuntary reaction that I perform maybe a dozen times every minute. So what? Is there anything else you can make me do?
I dunno. That’s all I’ve tried so far.
It’s not a very useful talent, is it?
Well... I could make you blink in Morse code.
Really? Go on then.
Hang on, I’ve nearly got it... Nah. It’s no good.
Really. Whod’ve guessed.
It doesn’t work when you’re expecting it.
It doesn’t work when... look, enough already. I’m getting a bloody headache.
See? See? I told you so. That’s me too!
I know it is. Now go away.