December 30, 2012 04:45 PM UTC
(Updated: December 31, 2012 04:04 PM UTC)
No returns
I expected the cheap bottle of apple cider this year. It was a gag gift and had made its rounds for the past seven years. I was not expecting the fruit cake that I had marked and given away only four years ago. Yep, right on the bottom I could see my mark. Oh well. What goes around comes around.
Besides, there were other presents to open and so I pretended to love everything I received. There was a pair of socks, pants, t-shirt, pajamas and a pair of shoes (all hand-me-downs. Sigh). Surely, I thought, this last present must be something new and nice. Well, it was new and straight from Wal-Mart (my least favorite store). Throughout all the hugs and kisses and thanks yous and all, I kept thinking I'll have to stand in the Wal-Mart returns line. Yuck.
The next day I got up early, hoping to beat the line that was sure to form at the Wal-Mart returns desk. Heck, their doors weren't even open and a three block line had formed. Eventually I made it to the returns counter and showed the box to the clerk. She looked shocked. "Where did you get this?" she asked.
"It was a gift and it's ugly and I want to exchange it."
"Honey, we only accept returns if it was an item purchased this year. Heavens! We haven't sold these things in over five years. Between you and me, these are supposed to protect you, but I wouldn't want one."
"My point. So may I have the exchange ticket?"
"As I said, not returns unless it was purchased this year."
On my way home, I realized that this gift was just like the fruit cake and I figured that next year, I'd gift it back to the giftor. I wrapped it carefully, put a note on it that read, "No returns" and saved that ugly gargoyle to gift back next year.
~~~~~
MWE challenge is to: write on the theme of things you got to do.
Yup, that is what holidays are all about, doing stuff you don't want to do, like not bopping your Uncle Maurice on the head with the gravy ladle when he starts howling about The Fiscal Cliff, or being nice to your sister even though she stabbed you in the back six and a half years ago. It's about shopping at crowded malls. It's about your living room getting trashed. It's about......oh heck, you know what it is about, so write it.
ThursWE challenge: Your challenge for Thursday December 27, 2012 is to create a post describing a memory or memories of Christmas or Hanukkah. Your post can be about any kind of memory; Good or bad memories, sweet or bitter, sad or happy, funny or annoying, forgettable or unforgettable, recent memories or distant, exaggerated or just the facts. The type of memories you write your post about is unimportant.
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Comments: 35

 Thanks for sharing with The Beauty of Gift Cards at the Triple Name Club.
Happy to hear I gave you a laugh. Thanks, elizabeth.
One minor correction: Second paragraph, (all hand-me-downs. Sigh.) Come to think about it, they are items that have already been had.
Thanks for sharing with Gather’s Luminous Writers & Artists where it's now featured.
Thanks for sharing and submitting to
The Surreal Circus.
I have a friend here in Texas who just recently retired a millionaire form his fruit cake business .... it started out one simple bakery and expanded into three other stores and incorporated some nice restaurant additions....from a simple fruit cake recipe to millions of dollars and he ships them all over the world and they are gooooood (he also does cheesecakes and the pecan pies are too die for, LOL).
I got carried away with memories again. Your story is wonderful. I've never regifted anything but I just might start. I have some perfumes that people have given me that I don't wear and they are nice perfumes, I put them in a drawer and some have been there for many years. I wonder if there is an expiration date on perfume? Maybe I'll regift some of them. My granddaughters are getting big enough to appreciate quality perfumes so maybe I'll give one to one of them on the next birthday list (maybe). Love your story.
Wal Mart is my favorite store in the whole world.
Happy New Year Pam.
I'm awed that your friend did so well with his fruitcake. Hmmm, I wonder if I could get rich selling the only thing I make well - bread and butter pickles. But, there's no holiday for them. Need pickles?
I am glad Ms Lee that your friend did do well with these cakes... Some people do have success stories. I could never get anywhere in a business of my own...
As far as the pickles - well, I hate to cook. Plus with the cost of silver (I use pure silver, not sterling), my jewelry pieces wouldn't sell up here for the replacement cost. Guess I'll stick with pushing paper.
P.S. If I ever do write another book, it may be contingent on you writing your own book first. In the meantime, Twisted Shorties II is about to begin. You are such a dear friend - you make me laugh. Thank you.
Happy New Year! I hope its a great year for you.
Thanks Pam, you are to kind.... but I like it... lol