Al
Al was our President of the United States. She had great plans. Her plans were selfish, but she felt they benefited all Americans. (Personally, I believe there will be dire consequences for Al, but I'm just a peon with no voice in such matters).
Al, a rather plump (putting it mildly) female with a Hitler mentality, had figured that if she went to war with Mars just before the elections, she'd surely be voted in for a second term. She did have to make it look like it was the Martians that started it. Martians, while a bit green around the gills, were very nice, peace loving people. They were the main support for McFoods. Perfect, Al though to herself. I'll force McFoods out of business by making them serve tofu and nothing else.
Al announced one day on national television, "You Americans are obese because you eat greasy food at McFoods. McFoods will only be allowed to serve tofu. Trust me, this is for your own good, to help you lose weight and improve your health issues. My job is to protect you and I'm doing just that."
Martians cannot survive on tofu. They frequently visit their families on Mars and take with them great quantities of sodas, hamburgers, fries and most especially egg mc fuffins. Since there is no water or vegetation on Mars, this food was essential to all Martians' diets and the extra weight allowed them to stay on Mars for extended visits. The Martians didn't like this dictate and reacted by tearing up all tofu boxes at McFoods, leaving the fast food store with nothing to serve and facing bankruptcy. That was what Al was waiting for and she again went on national television. "My good Americans, the Martians have attacked McFoods. We are now at war with Mars."
Mars was under attack on election day. You can easily imagine the consequence of this war, since most Americans are Martians. Al lost the election and shortly thereafter demanded a recount of the votes. The Americans refused to do the recount, but they did respond in a way. They tied her to a chair, took away her hamburger and fries and forced her to eat tofu until she lost 239 pounds. Americans rock.
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Comments: 52
I rarely feature political posts, but this is particularly good political satire and needs to be featured on the Wall of Political Satire on The Triple Name Club.
Read Pam's book if you have not: FIRST BLIPPED MILLION
Alice, thanks for the plugs. You're a dear friend.
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