by Priya P.
Member since:
December 28, 2010

Bitter Betrayal - Nifty Fifty 9-11

September 11, 2012 12:13 PM UTC (Updated: September 17, 2012 02:28 PM UTC)
views: 0 | 14 people recommend this | comments: 42

Goof afternoon my fellow nifty fiftiers.  Today's picture is of a wilted rose.  write me poem on what you see in this flower.  Make the subject of the poem about anything BUT flowers. 

 

Betrayal is a bitter pain;

it lays out like a blanket with thorns

soft on the outside

cutting deep from the in

I can feel her heart,

with layers of sweet rosy petals

hurts and joys, laughter and tears,

wilt softly from deep within

 

Comments: 42

ʚϊɞ Carol ʚϊɞ Sep 11, 2012, 12:24pm UTC
I feel like the drooping rose on so many days Priya. But I know better days are coming for both of us.

Thank you for sharing with The Surreal Circus.
Priya P. Sep 11, 2012, 12:29pm UTC
Yes me too, but there is a silver lining. It helps to have people to share with. friends with no strings, just open hearts to listen and understand
Priya P. Sep 11, 2012, 12:47pm UTC
Carol, I changed it to be a post for my group Nifty Fifty - couldnt remember if you were a member or not.
ʚϊɞ Carol ʚϊɞ Sep 11, 2012, 12:50pm UTC
Open hearts and soft shoulders are all that we need. :)

And yes I am a member.
Denise L. Sep 11, 2012, 12:29pm UTC
Those of us who have felt the betrayal understand....
Priya P. Sep 11, 2012, 12:47pm UTC
Yes, it does wilt us a bit doesnt it.
Brian Benson Sep 11, 2012, 1:00pm UTC
Betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow. Perhaps you should toss the wilted rose into the river and watch it float away upstream. Then partake in the joys of the flowers to come. Thanks for sharing this with us...B
Priya P. Sep 11, 2012, 1:37pm UTC
It is a beautiful thought, but what if I was that wilted rose? to float away, eyes closed to the howling winds calling me back, soft lilt of the water pushing me away from life. Perhaps a petal or two of me has done that, the rest of me has come back to life, with brighter leaves and color rich petals. Here to write you this poem.
Brian Benson Sep 11, 2012, 4:04pm UTC
The gist of what I intended to say is to let the past go and look toward a better future. it sounds like you have done just that. glad your leaves are rich and full again...B
Pam Brittain Sep 11, 2012, 2:12pm UTC
Wow, that was good. I'll have to give this one some thought, but poems aren't my forte.
Priya P. Sep 12, 2012, 11:20pm UTC
Thank you so much Pam.
Phillip DeNise Sep 11, 2012, 3:19pm UTC
take THAT, you evil TASKMISTRESS
Priya P. Sep 17, 2012, 2:30pm UTC
right, that's what i say!!!!
Phillip DeNise Sep 11, 2012, 3:22pm UTC
take THAT, you evil TASKMISTRESS
Ann Marcaida Sep 11, 2012, 3:34pm UTC
Hmmm. You seem to have two points-of-view here. (The first sounds omniscient; the second sounds like a cruel lover). Have you considered putting in a space where you change POVs?

That said, this is well written. "Cutting from the in" is a very creative use of words.

Thanks for sharing with Gather's Luminous Writers and Artists. Featured.
Priya P. Sep 17, 2012, 2:31pm UTC
took your advice, it does sound better this way when read from two views. thanks ann :)
KittyKutabare aka Candy Pole Sep 11, 2012, 5:50pm UTC

Thanks for sharing in the Triple Name Club.
Priya P. Sep 17, 2012, 2:31pm UTC
:) most welcome
JOHN BECK Sep 11, 2012, 9:40pm UTC
Nicely woven metaphor and emotion, Priya.
Priya P. Sep 17, 2012, 2:31pm UTC
thanks john, very much appreciated!
Doug Westberg Sep 12, 2012, 12:03am UTC
Beautiful!
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:12pm UTC
thanks :)
René Allen Sep 12, 2012, 5:17am UTC
I'm looking forward to SEEing what comes out of this Nifty Fifty challenge Priya ~ hmmmmm....
Marianne K. Sep 12, 2012, 9:46pm UTC
Well, dear Priya, is there anyone in this world who has not suffered betrayal of some kind?

It is a bitter pill to swallow . . . and I love your metaphor of the wilted rose!!!
Marianne K. Sep 12, 2012, 9:49pm UTC
I've not been reading much on gather this year, but if you're happy for me to HUG you and encourage you, I'm here for you~:)
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:12pm UTC
I can always use a hug from you. many times, your words are hugs. :)
Marianne K. Sep 12, 2012, 10:15pm UTC
Sinking to the bottom of the sea, she bows her head in sorrow. Wave after wave carries her tears to the surface of the darkest night.
The bleak storm raged and tore through her soul, leaving her broken hearted, worn and wilted. Unable to move, she takes one last glance.

50 Words
Irina Dimitric Sep 12, 2012, 11:43pm UTC
Beautiful, Marianne.
Alice G. Sep 13, 2012, 12:23am UTC
Marianne, I agree with Irina. You should submit it as a post not just a comment.
Marianne K. Sep 13, 2012, 1:07am UTC
Oh, thank you, so much, Irina and Alice, for your kind encouragement, which is deeply appreciated! I will.
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:13pm UTC
marianne, that was just sooooo beautiful. great job!
Irina Dimitric Sep 12, 2012, 11:50pm UTC
" a blanket with thorns " ...indeed, that's how betrayal feels. Beautiful poem, Priya.
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:13pm UTC
thank you :)
Alice G. Sep 13, 2012, 12:22am UTC
Well done, Priya. Hope all is well.
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:14pm UTC
all is very well. thank you my friend
MMmmmmmmm...lovely...thank you for sharing..
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:14pm UTC
:) very welcome
Whew! You scared me when I saw this post, but I did do one for this. ;p
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:14pm UTC
it was different, but you know me, always wanting to try something new
:)
Sheila Deeth Sep 27, 2012, 3:50pm UTC
Wow. Beautiful
Priya P. Oct 8, 2012, 1:31pm UTC
awww thank you :)

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