Today, we received word of the sudden death of a man from our church. We didn’t know him well, but I know his wife. Sal is a breezy, cheerful, outspoken woman with a huge capacity for love. She is a fabulous cook and a wonderful mother. When she hears of someone in need, she is there, usually with an armload of food.
Now Sal’s husband, Nick, is gone and what I remember about him is the way he always looked at her. Husbands are told to love their wives, but Nick’s love showed on his face. He smiled at Sal as though she had invented sunshine. Maybe she was the sunshine in his life. Clearly, he thought so. Any man smart enough to marry a woman like Sal and stay in love with her for 30 years is a man to be remembered, envied and admired. This made me think again, about being remembered.
Last summer, I was sitting on the beach with my cousins and one said “I wonder if our kids will tell stories about us someday, the way we do with our parents and grandparents.” Startled by this idea, I blurted out “Wow! We’d better clean up our acts.” We all laughed, but I wonder….how will we be remembered?
If I could choose, I would like to be remembered as generous, kind, funny, helpful and non-judgmental. I don’t need to be admired for accomplishments. My college GPA will be ancient history by then. Material possessions will be what they are now, just older. Having little in the way of financial assets, my value won’t be judged in dollars, so if you’re reading this for details of the will, you will be sadly disappointed.
Will my friends and family remember having enjoyed spending time with me? Will my children, grandchildren and cousins sit on the beach and tell funny stories about me? I hope so. It’s up to me to make their memories good ones and there is no time like the present to begin. Right now. Today.
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Comments: 32
I just hope that when people talk about me later on they do so kindly ;-)
Two days before my mother had the stroke that took her life, we had a long phone conversation. We agreed that regrets are useless and self-destructive. We talked about everything from fashion to politics. That conversation has been so precious and comforting to me.
We had lots of family on both our side and his there...It was amazing at the stories that relatives from both sides shared about them - and many of the stories were so funny we were all laughing while tears ran down our faces.
...Oh well..
"I would like to be remembered as generous, kind, funny, helpful and non-judgmental." Oh I know that you can be assured that you will be remembered for that and being a good friend to all those who need and want a good friend. You will be remembered for your words in season, for reaching out to those are alone, for your talent as a mentor. You will be remembered for making the world a better place because the warmth of your heart has a way of taking away even the coldest parts of anyone's heart. You will be remembered long after you are gone gentlemen and ladies always are. By the way after you are gone you won't be gone as long as there are memories of you like there are of your parents and grandparents. May we value you so much before you are gone so that when the sad day comes when you do bid this world good bye we will have soo much to remember of you.