Bloomington's Best Betrayal

I didn't want to be there
In the dishonest florescent glow
Of a Steak and Shake parking lot
Fanning the fires of another.
After creamy flirting over milkshakes,
Her mouth was convulsive and tart.
After kissing her again
I slid my tongue across the roof of my mouth,
Clasped our hands together and smiled.
But I swear,
I didn’t really want to be there.

I wanted to be with you,
But we even drank our coffee too.
Bloomington's Best Betrayal
Served by a slack-eyed college girl
Lacking the sparkling aplomb
Of her televised counterparts.
When I say I thought of you.
You can believe it, 'cause it's true.
Your home was a mile away
But I wondered if my scream
Could cover such space.
I would shout
Look, look at what you've made me do,
I don't want to be here.
I want to be with you and you won't let me.

I followed her home,
Driving through hazy globes of light,
My hands flexing and contracting,
My eyes stinging, my sight in misty tatters.
And in the dark, cluttered patchwork
Of a single mother's apartment
She glistened like a raven in the sun
Just before I clutched her wings.

Though I didn't want to be there,
I did not leave,
The icy threads of my lust
Tied me to her bed.
And when she thrashed greedily into me,
I hissed there would be no other
Until the icy threads uncoiled
And my slurring promise dissolved

I didn't want to be there,
I wanted to be with you
And I wept in another woman's bed,
You can believe it, 'cause it's true.
The ties binding us in betrayal
Were a stain between us
And we laid awake until dawn
Like preening penitents
Now shaking at the scope of our sin.
And since I didn't want to be there
I wouldn’t see her again.

Bring me another coffee
To thin the filth and bile
Inflaming my stomach
When I recall my guile.

This is the poem for when all else fails
To blacken your broken tears
And a paper cross you can climb
To show your love of nails.
This is the flavor of your betrayal
That you will taste when you insist
It was her who left you in the end.