The Do-Gooders of Ann Arbor (MWE Prompt)

There's three categories of people who live in Ann Arbor, MI: the students, the townies, and the do-gooders.

The do-gooders are typically vegan and they only eat organic food. They ride around town in those clowny smart cars or hybrids but normally they power walk or cycle to reduce their carbon footprint. They only shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, they only drink fair trade coffee, and there's an unwritten code that do-gooders must be artsy on a 24/7 basis. So berets, unusual coifs, vintage clothing, distinctive eye wear, dangley jewelry, huge silver rings, piercings, capes, and hand carved walking sticks are pretty much mandatory. If artsy doesn't work, look adventurous -- like you just got back from a photo safari in Tanzania or a hiking trek across the back-country trails of Nepal. And if all else fails, make sure that the book you're carrying around with you got a favorable review in the NY Times.

The do-gooders have refined the flare of laughter, intonation, and intense gazes without seeming startled down to an art form. They have also gotten the subtleties of the pensive look down-pat too so if they find themselves seated alone, they will still appear interesting. They spend hours at the yoga studio during the week. Weekends are spent shopping at the Farmer's Market or volunteering services and goods to the five people who are still doing the Occupy Ann Arbor thing. In a pinch, there's always that homeless encampment on the far side of town to help out at.

It's all about good and peace and wisdom until you realize that the barista doesn't really care about a do-gooder's sensitivity to gluten and/or lactose. They let her have it as loudly as possible with a shrill and quavering voice and if they haven't reduced her to tears yet, then they demand to speak to her supervisor, immediately. The do-gooders do not tolerate indifference well, especially if the topic concerns their self-absorbed health and well-being. So the supervisor isn't at the coffee place and so the do-gooder does the next best thing. She turns around and finds an audience.

"Can you believe this? They don't have any gluten-free bakery selections! I... will never ever come here again and oh, the barista here, she is a complete incompetent!!"

The do-gooder takes a deep breath so she won't faint before she slams out of the little coffee shop. She glares at the barista the exact same way she always glares at her Guatemalan Au pair.

The Do-Gooders of Ann Arbor.... this town would be incredibly boring without them.