A 2030 TV ad for Apple's latest product, iClick, shows a twenty-something couple dancing to a newly released CD. The girl has a small, black rectangular object in her hand. She clicks it at her boyfriend who freeze-frames, arms akimbo, one leg in the air. She clicks again and he continues dancing. They both laugh and sing, “I click, you click, we all click for life's shtick.”
Did you ever want to stop your life and run the tape back a few minutes or hours and have a redo? Of course you have. It’s like taking a mulligan in golf where you get a chance to redrive the ball you just sliced into the woods.
With all the remote control and communication devices in our lives today, I think we are psychologically prepared for such a step — and with all that texting, manually dexterous enough to pull it off.
This may be a male thing, but I feel as if the TV remote is an extension of my hand. Without thinking, I often raise my hand and push my thumb down when I want to stop the movie in the theater so I can make a quick bathroom stop. And I frequently find myself madly pumping my thumb up and down at family reunions, desperately searching for the missing mute button.
Of course, this stop-motion concept requires some time-machine-type technology that I don't have room to explain here. Trust me, this technology is available somewhere in Geek Ville if enough people clamor for it.
Instead of delving into the technology, I'd rather think about where we might effectively apply stop-motion. Consider the following:
• Life-saving interventions: Here I'm thinking about our own lives though it could be used, I suppose, to save others as well.
Situation 1: You step off the curb onto a busy city street, turn your head and see a Mack truck bearing down on you at 50 mph. This would be a good time to CLICK! and stop the motion. Then you rewind your life by a few minutes and choose a different route or wait until the truck whizzes by before you step off the curb.
Situation 2: There is a large earthquake. You run for the outside door and see a large beam falling from the ceiling. CLICK! A quick spin of the dial sends you back before the earthquake. You read the earthquake survival suggestions in the front of the phonebook. CLICK! The ground shakes and you dive under your massive oak table.
• Embarrassing situations: Here your Apple iClick can save you from ever being embarrassed again. When the wrong words roll off your tongue, CLICK! and roll those words right back into your head. The next time you'll catch them before you catch hell.
A variation of this word-rewind technique can also save your job and advance your career.
BOSS: Philipp, what is the greatest threat to our business?
PHILIPP: Uh, um, overseas competition?
BOSS: What? No! It's government regulation. Don't you read my memos?
CLICK!
BOSS: Philipp, what is the greatest threat to our business?
PHILIPP: Sir! Government regulations, sir!
BOSS: Sharp lad, Philipp. You're going places.
• Personal grooming: I should have a haircut every two weeks. I remember I need a haircut about every four weeks. I get around to having my haircut about every six weeks. As a result I vacillate between a two-weeks-out-of-boot-camp look to two-weeks-past-metrosexual prime. I need a way to find the ideal hair length and stop my hair from growing. It would be great for my lawn as well.
Women know how to do this. They march into a salon with a picture cut from a fashion magazine and say, "I want to be her." Men sit in the barber chair and watch sports on the wall-mounted TV so they miss telling the barber when to stop reversing the clock on their hairdo.
With iClick, you go into a singles bar every few nights until, one night …
GORGEOUS WOMAN: WOW! I've never seen your hair look so great!
CLICK!
This Week's Ponder: If you cooked instant rice in a microwave would you go back in time?
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Comments: 48
Thanks.
The iClick sounds like an indispensable relationship tool. I could have used one today. By the way, do they come turbo-charged? I could have used that today too.
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iClick? No thanks. It was hard enough to deal with the first time and iclick doesn't appear to come with a built in iForget button with that redo. Just sayin'.
How long would it take to play a football game when the all the fans rewind after a bad play by their team?
That Mute button, though - that would be wonderful. I could sleep without the barking dogs, screaming kids, fighting raccoons, and the sound of that woodpecker just outside my window at 5AM. Of course, I could also sleep through the alarm, but life's not perfect.
I too am wondering if with IClick you would actually remember what you were to or not supposed to do something so you could save your own or someones life when you rewind?
I do like the idea of a mute or volume control button but what would happen if you misplaced your iClick? Would you be deaf or have diminished hearing or would the children's voices be permanently set to a lower volume level?
So interesting to think about!
Like Ruth above, I'd like to adjust the volume control on my son and his buddies, but that button never seems to work.
Oh lord the possibilities, even the temptations are entertaining.
I'd like to see that button in action for about a week - utter chaos worldwide:)
Great article, John. You come up with some of the greatest ideas I've seen!!