When Issac began school he was tested again and it was determined that he had severe learning disabilities,limited speech and limited mobility in the area of fine motor skills. An IEP (Individualized Education Program) was developed. At the meeting to discuss his education program Becca and her husband were surrounded by "experts" psychologists, teachers, speech pathologists, occupational therapists, a special education director and even the school principal. Becca read the copy of Issac's IEP and heard it discussed but as the meeting progressed in her heart of hearts she knew that Issac's IEP was not right. She felt like not enough focus was on academic areas and not enough was expected from Issac. She insisted that his IEP be rewritten. It took rewriting the IEP three times before she was happy with it and only then signed the document.
For the next twelve years she advocated for Issac at each of his IEP meetings. These meetings were not easy for anyone but when they were done Issac had the best possible IEP. Becca knew this in her heart of hearts. Issac joined her in advocating for himself the last four years of his public school experience. At home Becca worked long hours with Issac and her other children to help them get the most out of their public school experiences. With Issac she spent even more time then she did with her other children because more time was needed. She expected his best effort always and would never let him give less than his best in anything he did not ever. Going the extra mile was what Issac's parents expected from all four of their children but they demanded it from Issac. Becca knew in her heart of hearts that when she wanted to let Issac slack it would not be an act of kindness but an act of selfishness instead. Her heart of hearts told her that if he learned to give his all as a child that it would allow him to find ways around, over and under the challenges his disabilities threw in his way.
By the time Issac graduated from high school he had a B average and was accepted by two colleges. One was a thirty minute drive while the other one was two thousand miles away. Issac had applied for four large scholarships that were only awarded to people who had the kind of learning challenges he had. He was awarded all four scholarships so for Issac as long as he kept going the extra mile college would not cost him anything. He wanted very much to go to the college that was far away.
Becca explained to him that the benefit of going to college close to home was that if he needed anything ever she was right there. If he went to the college far away she would not be able to come to him as quickly. Issac gently put his hand on his mother's arm and said, "You raised me well, you saved my life more times than I can remember. You and dad taught me how to be independent and now that I am it's time for you to let me go." Becca's eyes filled with tears amd she said, "I know but it's so hard to let you go." Issac's Dad was standing next to Becca. He wrapped his arm around her and said, "I am proud of both of you but Becca what does your heart of hearts tell you to do?" Becca said,"To let Issac go far away. I've known that is what I have to do since he was accepted by that University but I was hoping that my heart of hearts was wrong." Becca's husband still holding his wife quietly said, "Your heart of hearts has never been wrong while Issac was growing up. It's not wrong now."
To every mother who has ever listened to her heart of hearts while raising a child to adulthood the hardest moment is when you have to let go but it is your best moment. May you be part of the beauty of the moment.
Happy Mother's Day to the wonderful mothers who help make Gather such a great group to belong to.