Kat (A Triolet for Mindful Poetry)

Our little Kat is a sorely troubled child
she is too worldly for such a young age.
Too gullible, too sweet, too easily beguiled,
our little Kat is a sorely troubled child
In fact I can’t remember the last time she smiled.
What could implant this feeling, so caged?
Our little Kat is a sorely troubled child
It sickens and hurts her. It fills me with rage.

Comments: 15

Kevin E. Apr 26, 2012, 2:03pm UTC

man Atticus this is quite a poem. I found myself wanting to read another poem about Kat wanting to find out more.

Katryn D. Apr 26, 2012, 2:10pm UTC

I agree

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Stirling D. Apr 26, 2012, 2:27pm UTC

Really enjoyed reading this - before even focusing on the idea that you were writing it in a particular form. But wow, the form lends a wonderful thump to the poem.

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Angela A. Apr 26, 2012, 2:36pm UTC

Poor dear

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A. F. Stewart Apr 26, 2012, 2:52pm UTC

A magnificent poem.

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Richard Lynn Livesay Apr 26, 2012, 5:26pm UTC

a cry from the wilderness in poetic form ...very well done...to see kids in "pain" tears at my heart

now on Surreal Circus

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Kerry Dexter Apr 26, 2012, 5:49pm UTC

I like the way you bent the form to serve the idea. well done, Atticus

Atticus *. Apr 26, 2012, 6:29pm UTC

Yes, I cheated the last line but I wanted a stronger ending. Thanks Kerry. :-)

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 26, 2012, 6:51pm UTC

Sincere questions, read no judgement:

1. Did you write it according to form first and then think, No, it's not as I want it to be?

2. Could it be that the second line was too weak to begin with?

Just something to mull over...

Kerry Dexter Apr 26, 2012, 6:57pm UTC

Susan,
I am sure Atticus will say why he did that. occured to me when i saw his choice that he wanted a punchy ending rather than an enigmatic one. for me as a reader, either would work, each lending a different tone to the poem.

Atticus *. Apr 26, 2012, 6:59pm UTC

I'll leave that judgement for the reader. I really just wanted the last line to go beyond the repetition and build and take the emotional content to another level. The poem decided at the last minute not to conform. :-)

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Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 26, 2012, 6:53pm UTC

I like the contrasts in this poem. The child is too worldly, yet sweet and gullible and caged. My curiosity is piqued.

The next best thing to writing a triolet is reading one; find more here at Mindful Poetry.

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JOHN BECK Apr 26, 2012, 9:20pm UTC

I love the way you weave so much complexity into what on the surface might be a simple poem. Excellent, Atticus!

JOHN BECK Apr 26, 2012, 9:21pm UTC

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stephen berwaldt Apr 27, 2012, 12:47am UTC

Wonderful poem, Atticus...you sure know how to make them sing...

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Kat (A Triolet for Mindful Poetry)

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