Pamela’s parents at her birth agreed they’d pay strict attention to their little angel’s diet. The mother being frequently bulimic understood when Pamela spit out her split peas. This was the beginning of Pamela being a picky eater. It didn’t help her parents awful cooks.
Possibly no one would notice, but when Pamela started writing in her English journal that cafeteria food tasty, this caused Pamela’s English teacher to become quite worried about her nutrition. She explain to the school counselor her misgivings, then let her read several of Pamela’s praise of cafeteria food journal entries. The counselor said, ’Sacrebleu! All know the cafeteria food has tasteless pink slime to chew.’
Pamela’s parents were called in. They were gently explained the situation to lessen the expected shock when reading Pamela’s revealing journal. The counselor explained, we are thrilled your daughter likes cafeteria food, but her effusive praise has caused the cook to ask for a raise. We think this cause poor home nutrition.’
Pamela’s parents gasped, then both hung their heads. The Headmaster looked at them disdainfully and said, ’Your daughter needs professional nutritional help.’ They agreed and a scientist came in with a plan to tape every bite of food Pamela would eat no matter where she was because of an implant with a scheduled vaccination.
Pamela had no idea her parents had made her a guinea pig. She told her dad about a flying bug that seemed to follow her no matter where she went, except the bathroom seemed off limits. Her dad said, ’Do nothing. Get used to it and wave a daily greeting.’ She looked at her Pop and realized he had been smoking weed. He smiled at her like he knew what she was thinking. Always that little grin. Then he’d pick a disarming subject you’d want to respond to.
The scientific study revealed Pamela liked salad better than TV Dinners and that she was rather picky about eating any bean not colored green. This video was seen by a District Attorney who had a crush on Pamela, but nonetheless bought charges against her parents for ‘nutritional terrorism.’ After this news conference, Pamela gave this fine officer an embrace. The charges were dismissed. Pamela’s diet was said high nutrition and her parents given the Key to the City.