Thursday Writing Challenge. "The Road Not Taken"
August 19th, 2009, My husband I woke to a beautiful sunny morning, we knew it might get warm that day.
It was also food bank day. Having a low income we go get help monthly. We lay on our bed that morning and
prayed for loved ones, for friends and for the well being and safety of our grandchildren.
A couple days earlier my nephew had come into town, he mostly is a user and has some mental disabilities, He forever lives in tbe past and dwells on negative things. We had a short visit with him and knew his birthday was coming up in about a week. That was the reason he was in town to mooch and get some gifts
But he is family and being kind and trying to understand he has mental issues we planned a small party for him.
What we did not know is a couple years earlier he had been in town and did some small thing harassing someone and so he had been arrested the night before. My husband and I prayed that all our grandchildren would be safe and have a happy day. My son Dan came to our place about 10:30 in the morning. he had his two children with him. He was cleaning up his boat and getting it ready to sell.
My son Jer called and told me about discount tickets for the family for the up coming Interstate fair in September. He had tried to call his sister but her phone was busy. He wanted to know how many we needed. I was getting ready to drive the two miles to my daughters place to help her a bit, take her the message and pick up the younger three of her children age 16 months, 4 and half and 6 and half. Then the phone rang.
This is where I wish I had ignored that phone and if I had my life would have been different and for all of us except possibly my nephew happier and healthier. You see this phone call was about my nephew and his melt down and wanting out of and law enforcement and a prison pastor. So this phone call led to 6 more phone calls. Because of that my grandson Gerrin Paul Retsel La Fleur died that late afternoon on a sunny day. It changed our lives forever.
If I had not answered that phone call and gone to my daughters as planned, she would have gone out to get her two children who had been taken out to where their dad was cutting firewood, without permission from her or without her knowledge and she would have brought them back hours earlier. But she had a daughter with and inured arm and a baby needing care and was expecting some important phone calls herself.
That phone called delayed me by 3 hours and in those three hours my little man died. Because my nephew was having a melt down and won't grow up, won't take responsibility and won't listen to his counselors or take his meds. If I had not answered that phone. Gerrin would be alive, My daughter would still be 2 miles from us. I would not have lost my support group for exercise, walking and weight loss. I would be a size 10-12 by now and healthier. I would be much happier and so would all of us. Andrey would have a big brother to play with and teach him many things. Instead he points to the sky at age 3 and says. Gerrin lives with God, I miss him"
Instead I chose to have some compassion on my 34 year old nephew. I made a quick call to my daughter and told her I would be delayed awhile and told her why. She said okay she had radioed her husband and the kids were fine, picking thimble berries and playing.
If I could turn the clock back I would have ignored that phone call and went to help my daughter. I would have had my grandson Gerrin and Andrey playing here in the kiddy pool and their sister Piper as well. I would have had pizza and ice cream as planned that night with my daughter at hour house. Then she was sending her two oldest to Montana for a week to visit other relatives. While I watched her little ones for a couple of days. It was always a joy to do that.
If I had known that two days earlier it was the last day I would see my precious little man I would have not let him go. His last words to me as he looked at me with his serious intent blue blue eyes, were, Nana, When I grow up, I am going to help take care of you and Papa"
Our little man did not get to grow up because of a selfish nephew and another selfish man who wanted little children to young to be out where they were to help load his pick up truck. The delay the phone call which led to others were part of a string of events that if even just one had not happened Gerrin would be the happy, bubbly sweet, little boy he always was and would be age 7 years old now. I still do not understand it. I could be bitter, I could give up on God but I haven't.
For some reason God allowed my grandson to be taken. Why exactly I don't really know. Some day I will. All I know is he assures us he has a better plan. I also know I will see Gerrin again and will get to see him grow up. Just not right now.
All because I answered a phone and chose to stay and help my nephew. Which basically meant talking to him on the phone, calming him down, assuring him he would be out in a couple of days as the warden had told me. Making some other calls to get him help because he has a mental illness. It was one if many things that cost my grandsons life.
If the friend had not without permission taken the children out with him. If it had rained instead of being sunny, So many different things could have been done and could have made a difference and we would be much happier and healthier. A lot of things changed that day for all of us and forever.
Instead it lead to shock, sorrow, grief, deep deep lasting grief, Loss of a precious child, Anger, deep deep depression for all of us and so much more. It lead to all sorts of legal problems and financial set backs and debt for us all. All because I picked up the phone just as I was ready to leave and said Hello and from that moment on our lives changed forever.
My nephew is back in town again. Has tried to call us several times. We are not taking the call. We just cannot deal with his problems any longer. Even when he got out two days later it was all about him, his birthday party and his life and issues and he could not seem to grasp we had lost a little boy forever. I am not mean, I am not hateful or angry with him. I just cannot any longer cope with this now 37 year old man who won't even take his meds or follow his program. His issues are partly what lead up to what cost my grandsons life. Love you and miss you Gerrin boy. Be happy in heaven. Until we meet again.