“WHAT is taking that coffee pot so long? I'm dying, here.”
Release from my morning coma takes different forms; today it requires a loud and abusive monologue to snap my brain into gear.
“Why can't I find my email? It's GOT to be here! Oh, here it is – 47 messages and 43 of them are selling something. Oh, a comment from someone on Gather – Cool. OPEN D*&^&(@! Why is the computer so slow? Why is Gather so slow? Why is that coffee... Oh, I heard the beep – COFFEE!”
“Much better. Now, delete......................delete. Oh, it's Thursday; check the Powerball numbers. # # # # # @. Nice, I got the Powerball; and another one...twoo...thrrrreee...OH! MY! GOD!
“No, wrong, check again. One...two...three...four...five...powerball. YYEEESSSSSS! Oh, calm down, don't have a heart attack. Coffee. Where's my coffee?
“OW! Hot! Ow.
“What do I DO, NOW? Who should I tell? Nobody. Everybody. Where's my list? The book... the book...the list is in my book. Wow, there are going to be some mighty surprised strangers out there.
“OK, wait, wait. I am nuts, here. I am going back to bed, and when I get up again, I will be calm. I will remember what I did with the number of that financial management group I worked for as a temp, last year, and I will call them, calmly.”
Buries head under pillow.