True Story - Poem "Hard" - Please Read and Comment

Hi everyone. At Len's suggestion, I am posting this poem for feedback. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it!

I hope you are all having a nice weekend

HARD

If only I had known
How tough it would be
to be jump-started daily
by a vacuum cleaner hose
Cracked over my legs
And Mom’s shrill tones
Yelling, accusing.
Frantic, I fall out of bed
still shaking and sweating
ice from being locked up
Alone, last night in the attic.

Hope crystallizes and evaporates
I love yous and hugs do not exist
Only the verbal machete, punctuated
by blows from my own baseball bat.
While somewhere, laughter echoes from
A joke only I could not grasp.

At school, peer pressure dealt me
another nerve-grating punch
Piercing and curious eyes surveyed me
But I said nothing, so they did not see.
I was left fated to search faces
for warmth, compassion,
Or the answer to Why?

I have no idea
what I have done
Or how to alter my face,
Voice, laugh, cheekbones,
Eyes, expressions,
Interests and friends –
Everything you despise.
If only I had known how
Hard living this life would be.

Terry Gibson 2012.

This poem is a true story and was originally entitled “Fourteen” for my age at the time. Which title do you like better?

Comments: 17

Juan J Martinez Mar 31, 2012, 8:57pm UTC

A excellent write and I feel that "Forteen" is a better title.

Terry Gibson Apr 9, 2012, 12:11am UTC

Thanks, Juan. I appreciate your comment.

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Len Maxwell Mar 31, 2012, 9:26pm UTC

I'm with Juan, I think "Fourteen" is a better title.

You're a very good writer and you haven't had a lot of exposure so I'm featuring this on Gather Writing Essential.

Terry Gibson Mar 31, 2012, 9:35pm UTC

Thanks Len. I am so happy about this. I haven't had a lot of confidence but now is the time to crack out of that shell.

Len Maxwell Mar 31, 2012, 9:37pm UTC

Hang in there. It takes a while to develop a following and I think you're going to have many people reading your work.

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Clifford N. Mar 31, 2012, 11:29pm UTC

It is obvious you know a great deal about confusion, pain and human depravity and how to express it. You have considerable ability and I hope you develop it and in the process, come to grips with your past while overcoming it's destructive power. Keep at it. You are headed in the right direction.

Terry Gibson Apr 9, 2012, 12:14am UTC

Thank you Clifford. Yes. It was really bad. I eventually committed suicide they made me detest myself so thoroughly. Thank God the doctors were able to revive me.

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Alice G. Apr 1, 2012, 1:57am UTC

Terry, this is a profoundly touching poem, knowing it is a true story makes it even more compelling. Well done, I am amazed to see such courage coming through. I much prefer FOURTEEN for the title. When those who have suffered themselves reach back to lend a hand to those on the path behind them, the healing process is enhanced.

Terry Gibson Apr 9, 2012, 12:16am UTC

Thanks Alice. It's so kind of you to say. With all that strength that people have given me through really hard times, I must give back in any way I can.

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Pam Brittain Apr 1, 2012, 2:33pm UTC

Terry, what a visual amazing piece this is. I have to ditto everyone about the title. You are very good - thank for sharing.

Terry Gibson Apr 9, 2012, 12:16am UTC

Thanks Pam. Your words are much appreciated.

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A. F. Stewart Apr 1, 2012, 3:43pm UTC

A wonderfully visceral poem with a lot of emotion.

Terry Gibson Apr 9, 2012, 12:17am UTC

Thanks A.F. It means a lot.

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Betty S. Apr 2, 2012, 5:52pm UTC

You have written this beautifully Terry..I'm sorry that your life has been this way but, it sounds like your breaking those chains that once bound you.

Terry Gibson Apr 9, 2012, 12:19am UTC

Thanks Betty. Yes. Now I'm just working on getting free of this forever. What a day that'll be!

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Sam Henderson Jun 21, 2012, 1:09pm UTC

Terry, a friend, a new friend, brought me to you and this poem. Immediately and all-at-once I am you. Writing not only heals but it educates. My abuse was verbal. I write about it. I'm writing about it more, it's coming to the surface to be healed. I'm ready.

My friend has only known me for a short while and yet she's known me all her life. She brought me to you. She brought me to your poem.

My vote is different from those you have commented. I prefer the title you selected, the one you published it with.

Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with us. My day is colored sunshine because of it.

~Sam

Terry Gibson Jul 5, 2012, 10:51pm UTC

Sam, I'm sorry I couldn't get to reply to this sooner. What a beautiful note to me. I'm so thankful your new friend invited you to read this poem. I understand exactly what you're saying. Much of my abuse was verbal too. It packs such a heavy punch. On my blog, I'm always struggling with self-esteem. But, I'm not giving up; I sense you won't either. I'm sending you a friend invite; please accept only if you're comfortable with it. I'll be checking out your writing now that we've met.

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True Story - Poem "Hard" - Please Read and Comment

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