Seamus and Molly were born in a small sheep herding hamlet in Mac-Murrough county just south of The Pale. They grew up winking at each other, but then after finding a pubic hair, Molly angrily told Seamus, ‘keep your hands to yourself,’ which he privately did.
For the next 5 years, Seamus and Molly spoke not to the other and seemed interested in only the newest whomever or visiting newcomer. However, looks are deceiving for their hearts were taking a beating pining for the other. On Molly’s 18th birthday, the bloody British invaded. Seamus acting quickly pushed Molly into a large pile of hay, then blew out the candles on the cake.
Seamus dove into the hay just as the British soldiers could have had him in their sight. He fell onto Molly whom held onto him for a bit more than dear life. After the British had left, Seamus and Molly rolled around a bit. When they came out from the hay, all could see Seamus‘ collar stained with lipstick.
The was the start of a whirlwind of courtship lasting for 3 months, but after a supper of rarebit, Molly told Seamus the reason her puppies had gotten big. Seamus quickly asked for her hand to write a letter to Maynooth Seminary. Seamus dictated and before the letter sent, Seamus said to Molly, ‘I’ll make an honest woman out of you before we wed.’
An indulgence here and few scruples set aside, a Clergyman had arranged a quiet Church wedding a week before Molly had their child. There were no fireworks or hint of scandal. Molly gave birth to a girl named Sunshine on due date scheduled. The birth certificate had a date not clearly legible.
Seamus was a fast runner and master wool shearer. He made a decent living and had saved up a few coins to buy Molly a splendid 21st birthday present. However, a day before these festivities, the British made a raid. Unfortunately, Seamus was captured and Molly saw him being carted away.
Molly was determined to find her husband and bring him home, but she knew British soldiers would be Protestant and mum. However, one British Captain had a fetish for English Gnomes and Molly owned one. Molly with clandestine skill bartered the gnome to learn Seamus aboard a ship in Dublin with a departure date the coming weekend.
Molly made a picnic basket and made herself to look British. She hitched a ride to the border, then tricked British soldiers into thinking the coach her and her fine now missing Dubliner husband had been assaulted by hordes of Irish marauders. The soldiers of course arranged for Molly to be cared for and transported first class to Dublin.
Molly found her way to the docks and found the ship where Seamus was swabbing the deck. He saw Molly, but they dared not embrace, yet had a conversation about keeping up appearances. Seamus asked Molly to take notes as he dictated things he wanted her to do. Molly wrote down everything Seamus said, then asked, ’Where are they sending you?’
Seamus was not good at geography and told Molly, ’To the island of Australia.’ He then continued, ’They said I would be coming back in a couple of years with good behavior.’ Molly looked at Seamus, then looked at the list he had dictated. She then, in perfect Queen’s English, whispered to a passing British sailor, ’that Irish rough called Seamus on that ship said things to me rather annoying.’