As The Narrative Wrote: Tuesday Writing...

Comments: 40

JOHN BECK Aug 10, 2011, 4:26pm UTC

Skillfully written abecedarian, Bill.

JOHN BECK Aug 10, 2011, 4:28pm UTC

It's decades since I carried a pocket watch. I had a Pocket Ben when I was a kid, and later carried one of my grandfathers'.

William Dotani Aug 10, 2011, 4:32pm UTC

For a while as a teenager, I'd carry an old pocket watch that had been my grandfather's. Thought I was being cool.
Thank you.

Lynn P. Aug 11, 2011, 2:31pm UTC

Geesh, I get so amazed by the words, I never notice the form. I'm glad you're around to let me notice, John. ;)

As for pocket watches, hubby has one. It seems people who make men's jewelry cannot imagine a size 14 wedding ring or the same wrist might need a wristwatch, so he carries a pocket watch.

JOHN BECK Aug 11, 2011, 3:53pm UTC

You're right, Lynn. Bill's word choices and pairings are so unique and fascinating that it's easy not to notice, in this case, the abecedarian.

William Dotani Aug 12, 2011, 12:42am UTC

I need a larger hat after reading both your comments. Word flow and meaning should be nice to both ideas and silent hearing. I believe we sense word soundings when reading. English is a super duper lyrical language. Thank you.

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Kay M Aug 10, 2011, 7:59pm UTC

You amaze me with these ABC things. I've never tried to write one but I know if I did I'd be in trouble at the last stanza. Your last stanza is as skillfully constructed as the rest.

Kay M Aug 10, 2011, 8:01pm UTC

I would have never come up with xebecs sailing.

William Dotani Aug 10, 2011, 11:13pm UTC

I would think Xebec a common word in island discussions.
Thank you.

Lynn P. Aug 11, 2011, 2:32pm UTC

Kay, I think William knows every Q, X, and Z word in the dictionary...the unabridged dictionary. ;)

William Dotani Aug 12, 2011, 12:44am UTC

Only the ones in the book given to me by a British teacher who had a bad habit of adding the letter u to many words. TY.

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Donna C. Aug 10, 2011, 10:19pm UTC

You always amaze me with your skill with words!!
I think these are great...........ABC.........

William Dotani Aug 10, 2011, 11:14pm UTC

An English teacher should know words.
Thank you.

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Elsie Duggan Aug 11, 2011, 1:16am UTC

I love this abecedarian William, I believe this is the second one you have done for my prompts and they are simply awesome, Thank you so much for all the work that goes into these and how beautifully they flow, and they make such statements, Thank you for sharing with TWE, love you, and goodnight, Elsie

William Dotani Aug 11, 2011, 1:23am UTC

This is why I was not online last night and much of today. This was a fun challenge. Thank you.

Elsie Duggan Aug 11, 2011, 1:27am UTC

Well, I certainly appreciate the poem and understand how it is to do these things, especially to have them make sense, I am glad you enjoyed the challenge, just coming on myself now, I was out with Stephanie and the baby all day at the mall shopping, and really tired out, so had a quick bite to eat, and held the baby and we both fell asleep. Billy just came and got him and put him in bed, it was nice for me, I love the kid :), love, Elsie

William Dotani Aug 11, 2011, 2:09am UTC

Sounds nice. I'm getting tired.

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Bernard C. Aug 11, 2011, 4:31am UTC

Interesting format the abecederian and very nicely done - thanks for sharing :-))

Thanks for submitting to
The Surreal Circus.

William Dotani Aug 12, 2011, 12:18am UTC

Mucho gracias.

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jeanne clarke Aug 11, 2011, 8:11am UTC

This is the second abc I've read that you've written - it usually takes a second reading before I realize it lol.....but I like it. Wish I could write poetry to perfectly.

William Dotani Aug 12, 2011, 12:20am UTC

One's voice is one's heart, so put it on paper. Nothing else need be said. Thank you.

jeanne clarke Aug 12, 2011, 2:14am UTC

I put my heart on paper through my stories...each one is a piece of me, my life....sometimes just a little crumb, but there in my mind, my memory are all those crumbs.....and I try to catch them and add them to my collection before they all scatter away.....sometimes I put the crumbs together and recreate a piece of toast - lol....

William Dotani Aug 16, 2011, 12:42am UTC

One needs a Blueprint of structure for containing the words. Paint away with rhetorical patterns that answers the reasons you compose a scene, a theme and the other things of life. Have a plan, then enjoy what you're doing and take your time. The heart is in the story. The focus on caring is in the actual writing.

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Lynn P. Aug 11, 2011, 2:33pm UTC

This is holy cow good! (There was a reason I got the degree to teach English, but never taught it. ;) )

Now featured on The Surreal Circus.

William Dotani Aug 12, 2011, 12:23am UTC

I think that maybe you wanted to learn Canadian spelling or Harey Carey grammatical patterns. Language is like a tossed salad.
Thank you.

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Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Aug 12, 2011, 12:13am UTC

Another gem from you and I'm not surprised at all. I've written one of these...but that was before the accident and I can't seem to remember the poetry forms, never mind write them. Instead, I'll enjoy yours!

Hugs,
Mare~

William Dotani Aug 12, 2011, 12:28am UTC

I understand memory loss since I have some from my stroke, but I see not how remembering some form is relevant to this moment. You don't write in the past. You write what your mind and heart tell you now this moment.
Thank you.

Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Aug 17, 2011, 2:06am UTC

True, and that's part of the problem, there are a lot of blank spots... too many. You're right, I don't write from the past, but I don't remember the forms that I learned from the past either and when I look them up (again and again), don't understand them. You truly amaze me, my friend.

William Dotani Aug 17, 2011, 3:08am UTC

I've learned all types of theories, logical criteria, the Scientific Method, and all types of forms in the arts and sciences. Any of these approaches, methods or forms is only as good as its intended purpose. Sometimes trying to do something with exactness to form, criteria, etc., ends up with dismal results. I know many purists like to beat a dead horse, but only to these people are things set in stone. They do not control you or me. I respect the science and opinion of purists, but like anything I've learned is that there is always a step beyond. Make a form your own by tinkering with it. Good writing always starts with the person's own voice wanting to describe in some way. Good writing needs not form to be good or great. The quality is from the writer in the words and not in the form.

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Marianne K. Aug 12, 2011, 3:49am UTC

WOW!! William, you're a wordsmith! This is extraordinarily poetic and deeply layered.

William Dotani Aug 16, 2011, 12:32am UTC

That's extremely nice of you to say. Thank you.

Marianne K. Aug 16, 2011, 5:04am UTC

You are most welcome!

William Dotani Aug 17, 2011, 3:10am UTC

I enjoy the message in words. TY.

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Svetlana Goryacheva Aug 12, 2011, 6:53am UTC

"Taste the elixir of dreams savored"... wonderful and meaningful... our dear Bill at his best! :-))))

Blessings and best wishes in great abundance - S.