A dream or the future: Gather writing essential...

I had forgotten the excitement I feel whenever we kiss. The quivering lips: Were they hers or mine? It did not matter, because they signal the pent up passion, the fear that this might be the last time where the joy of being with her encompasses every cell within my body. Her sigh when we break that delicate connection echoes what I feel but do not say.

This place we have chosen to be together for tonight is the perfect place, but not a place I recall ever having been before. It reminds me of the image of the house she created in my mind long ago when she asked me to take her away from the turmoil that surrounded us, and live in a place full of peace, and love, and not despair.

Gossamer is her appearance as she walks away from me, and I cringe as her image slowly dissolves, replaced by the cold, wet, stone wall of my cell. It was but a dream, My recurring dream of what could have been had I listened.

I did not, and because of that error she exists in this world no longer. So when they execute me tomorrow, all I can hope is that this dream is my future after death, and not just the road I should have taken in my past.

Comments: 30

Alison H. Feb 5, 2011, 2:38pm UTC

Gives me shivers! Haunting and lovely.

Richard Thuss Feb 5, 2011, 2:41pm UTC

Thanks for reading, Alison

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Sandy Moore Feb 5, 2011, 4:28pm UTC

I agree with Alison. I wonder how many people really feel this way.

Richard Thuss Feb 5, 2011, 6:19pm UTC

The image of a young couple in the middle east living in a dictatorship was created in my mind when I read the prompt from Len. Thanks, Sandy

Sandy Moore Feb 5, 2011, 8:01pm UTC

You could really write a good story with it.

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Christine L. Feb 5, 2011, 4:41pm UTC

Well written. Beautifully expressed.

Richard Thuss Feb 5, 2011, 6:11pm UTC

Thanks, Christine

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JOHN BECK Feb 5, 2011, 6:26pm UTC

Wow! What a fantastic response to the prompt!

Richard Thuss Feb 5, 2011, 8:55pm UTC

Thanks, John. and I learned how to write and post directly from my iPad in doing it. You can teach an old dog a new trick.

JOHN BECK Feb 5, 2011, 9:20pm UTC

I have not sprung for that toy yet.

Richard Thuss Feb 5, 2011, 9:53pm UTC

It went from a toy for my grandson to play games on, to a way of life for me in a week. I use it for almost everything now.

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brian bennett Feb 5, 2011, 11:30pm UTC

I can see a truly moving story springing from this. Thank you.

Richard Thuss Feb 6, 2011, 8:05am UTC

Oh boy, now even more pressure to write something worth reading. just kidding, of course, Brian. Thanks for reading and you kind recco.

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Ann Marcaida Feb 6, 2011, 11:31am UTC

This is so fluidly written I never would have guess that it's in response to a prompt.

Thanks for sharing with Gather's Best Writers and Artists. Now featured.

Richard Thuss Feb 6, 2011, 8:53pm UTC

Thanks, Ann

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JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Feb 6, 2011, 11:32am UTC

I would like to see you develop this into a full short story.

Richard Thuss Feb 6, 2011, 9:03pm UTC

Thanks, "Just Me" I finally get back to writing on the sequel to my first novel and you give me another task. Just kidding, but this story would be an interesting challenge for me. I have a sense of the story that took place before this scene, but at the moment it is too much of a cliche. I have four of my Gather posts that were written for prompts in a file I have labeled "possible future novels" I will add this one. thanks for reading.

Lynn P. Feb 13, 2011, 7:12am UTC

Richard,
Good idea - the file. I'm just starting to write novels and keep wondering, "Where do people get so many ideas?"

I have three ideas so far, but ideas don't come to me as quickly as they seem to for others. I do keep just about everything I've ever written (since the day the computer entered our lives. lol) I do reuse, but never as a thought for a whole book.

Sooooo, thanks for the idea - and yeah. I can certainly see this as something that can become more later on - or stay, as is. Both work.

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Len Maxwell Feb 11, 2011, 8:02pm UTC

I agree with Ann; it's just too good to have been from a prompt. It's difficult to imagine that this wasn't floating somewhere in your mind for a long time.

Thank you for taking the SatWE challenge.

Richard Thuss Feb 11, 2011, 9:49pm UTC

Thanks, Len, but it did come after reading the prompt. It is interesting that sometimes the prompts bring out something lurking toward the surface of our consciousness, and this is a case of that for me

Lynn P. Feb 13, 2011, 7:15am UTC

From what you wrote earlier in your comments (middle east dictatorship), it sounds like something floating in your mind in abstract for a week or two, and then the prompt focused it.

Times like these really bring so much emotion to all of us. It's cool that you focused that emotion into such cool images for all of us.

Richard Thuss Feb 13, 2011, 7:53am UTC

Thanks for that very nice comment .

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Benita K. Feb 12, 2011, 3:22am UTC

Which goes to show the wonders of stimulating each other, and this just happens to be another way to do so.

A wonderfully romantic clear piece to loose myself in. For me it came across as a period piece at first. It flowed effortlessly.

And what a magical sentence this is.

"I did not, and because of that error she exists in this world no longer."

Richard Thuss Feb 12, 2011, 9:25am UTC

Thanks so much, Benita. It is interesting that you picked that line to mention because I remember that little rush of feeling I had written a good sentence when I wrote it.

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Lynn P. Feb 13, 2011, 7:17am UTC

Another thing I find amazing about this - it works for this week's prompt by Len, too. It does go from happy to as opposite as possible.

Richard Thuss Feb 13, 2011, 7:51am UTC

Oh thank you Lynn, now I don't have to feel the pressure to answer this weeks prompt. Two for one. I like that. Lol, and thanks for reading.

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Sheila Deeth Feb 16, 2011, 6:17pm UTC

Wow! That was beautifully absorbing. Loved it.

Richard Thuss Feb 17, 2011, 11:08am UTC

Thank you, Sheila, I always appreciate your comments.

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A dream or the future: Gather writing essential Saturday

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