by Sheila Deeth
Member since:
February 1, 2007

Dream - FWE Haiku

January 10, 2011 07:41 PM UTC
views: 0 | 7 people recommend this | comments: 12

Dreaming rivers flow

To open seas where winds of

Change and reason blow.

 

Dreaming spires will fall

When blooms of spring all turn to

Memories and dust.

 

Dreaming birds awake;

Shaken feathers fall like rust

Burning snow’s shadow.

 

Dreaming hope reflect

On promises and end of

Trust that seasons spent.

 

Comments: 12

JOHN BECK Jan 10, 2011, 11:11pm UTC
As others have done, you use enjambment which I had not associated with haiku, especially between the second and third lines. However haiku has apparently become like Monopoly or canasta--everybody seems to have their own "rules". Certainly very poetic.
Connie C. Jan 10, 2011, 11:13pm UTC
I love it. I love the wording and the vision I see when I read it.
A. F. Stewart Jan 11, 2011, 10:31am UTC
It flows beautifully.
Chris Brockman Jan 11, 2011, 11:14am UTC
Great development of a theme. I especialy like the first.
Angela A. Jan 11, 2011, 12:45pm UTC
Wow, that was marvelous!
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Bernard C. Jan 12, 2011, 7:34am UTC
The first and last standing out a little bit more than the others at this time - thanks for sharing :-)
Marge H. Jan 13, 2011, 10:33am UTC
Dreaming of Spring too. I love the way one Haiku flows into the next. Great job.
Bridget McNulty Jan 13, 2011, 4:00pm UTC
I liked the word choices here...I definitely think these were written in a unique and wonderful manner.
JOHN BECK Jan 13, 2011, 4:03pm UTC
I agree, and the first two words of each especially with the repeating first.
Granny Janny Jan 14, 2011, 1:40am UTC
The first two haiku are my favorites. The third stands out visually.
Barbary Chaapel Jan 14, 2011, 8:28am UTC
Gorgeous visions, Sheila. These are superb to my way of thinking.
William Dotani Jan 16, 2011, 12:03am UTC
There seems a bit of a subtle chronological shift from stanza to stanza. The title dream seems reflected in your first stanza of hopes and wishes already attained. The next stanza seem to be of present then future and your dream your hopes will come true, so in the end you can smile at the dreams that give life love and truth. I felt this poem rather self-biographical. Lovely verse.

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