Nearly Forty-Seven
©2010 Robert C Burnham
I am nearly forty-seven
Ponders the man in the cowboy hat
As another birthday approaches
And he begins to rant…
I have almost nothing to show
For all my years
For all my trials
For all my pleasures
the few and far between
For all my pains
No key to a house
Which I always dreamed of but never owned
No blushing bride
Or lady love
Lying next to me to greet the rising dawn
athough I’ve known a few
No musical instrument or
Talent to make it come to life
I have no fancy car
No advanced degrees
To proclaim I’m not an idiot
No handsome looks
I envy Russell Crowe
To entice the ladies
I am nearly forty-seven
And cannot even sustain myself
I do have the love of a mangy mutt
But is it enough to embrace a new day?
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Comments: 95
Sorry, Cathi, I am cynical today and I am out there everyday looking for the job and I have been looking at stuff $400/week less than what I've made in my last two jobs. Sorry, ranting. And my family thinks I have a problem with pride, that's laughable.
Your rants and cynicism are justified, Robert. We all know that. I have a brother about 10 years your senior and he doesn't even have the dog.
I'm sure your family has told you that a lesser job can lead to a better job and having a job makes it easier to find another...so I won't tell you that. :)
I don't know how you are going about your search for employment. Whether you are looking at areas that are booming for the construction industry? If you are working with recruiters? Or if you are even looking into the construction industry. If you are, there may be information I can find for you, call me. If you're not then I don't know what to suggest.
You are arguing with yourself in your poem. You're conflicted and confused. Platitudes aren't going to help but sometimes that's all that can be offered unless you reach out more. I'm sure you feel that you have.
What direction do you want to go? There are thousands here on Gather. What have you tried?
I don't know what else to say, Robert. I care about you but I don't know what you are looking for.
I more than 'feel' I've reached out. I work 10 hour days trying to find work.
And yes, Cathi, you are a good friend.
And yes, free time isn't free.
Lisa's right!
your photography is incredible!
Not bad for a dog ('cept the fall) and since I was with her; I guess I've enjoyed a moment or two of life too.
:+)
Thanks for posting this to The Surreal Circus!
You mean you actually want to know more.......... Gee, I might consider that a compliment.
Thank you.
Years ago I gave up on happiness and joy. I look for moments that don't hurt so much.
Enough to embrace another day? F@@@ the universe. I ain't leaving until they drag me outta here, just to piss off the universe.
I like your dark muse. You capture life in the shadows, what Thoreau said: "The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."
I'm glad people have advice for you.
I don't.
"Years ago I gave up on happiness and joy. I look for moments that don't hurt so much. Enough to embrace another day? F@@@ the universe. I ain't leaving until they drag me outta here, just to piss off the universe. "
I'm not saying they're happy thoughts but they bouyed me up when I read them.
I just got back from downtown; I have started the Admissions process at University of North Carolina. It may not pan out but then again if the universe aligns itself just right momentarily, maybe it will!
I said: "You're right. People suck."
"Huh?"
"It's our nature. Once you accept that, once you know people suck, then you're pleased when they don't. If you expect people to not suck, they'll fail you most the time."
Raw truth, Cowboy.
Good luck at the U.
People are a@@holes. That's my baseline. Most people meet my expectations. Sometimes, people rise above my expectations, to which I show my appreciation. As for the normal, everyday a@@holes, I wouldn't cross the street to piss on them if they were on fire.
Those who rise above my expectations consistently, I'd take his or her hand and walk into the fire.
I mean, I don't see managing to not get fatally injured by a car for 57 years cause for celebration.
Oh, happy early birthday.
Well, there's goes my ploy for seeing you naked; scrap immolation". hahaha
A great big NO on the tattoo though (less of course I put 'Amanda' on some discreet part - lol. No.
And it's the embarassment of being in this situation at my age.
I have lost my truck..the beginning, my pride was next, my hope is gone and I think I am in a very deep deep depression, because I am just freaking tired
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ A BIG HUG }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
muah baby.
(((HUGS))))) from the south
Life happens to all of us, some us us have everything we want, some of us lose everything we have, and some of us just wont evver get much. Thats just the way it works. Just be glad your alive and never be ashamed of what you dont have or have not done.
Oh and you can totaly get my name on your bum, Or better on your wang that way you can watcch it go from AA to AMANDA LOL
Ya know, I understand EXACTLY what you are saying...I took a job for 7.50/hour, seasonal, I havent found another one and that one ended, not that it helped much....as for the home, we are a month behind, and hoping that we can get caught up or we will lose it. Which means we will lose everything we have ever worked for
My heart, goes out to you. I need a J-O-B too, and I have interviewed and applied everywhere, I just have to make a little more than 7.50 an hour....sometimes, I think about going out here and robbing a bank or something....no, no, i am not going to it just seems like the harder I try, the worse things are getting.......
Dont you ever just get tired of it all and think...hmmm could I do eight years in prison?????
LOL, You know you can be my Clyde anytime, except I have to drive
And will there be 'backseat' breaks every couple hundred miles or so?
:+)
Dream on that, all of that.
Goodnight. Muah.
Sweet dreams!
This is now a binding contract.
We have everything you'd think you could want and more. And, still, I feel very depressed. Every day, I wish it were my last.
My hubby sleeps all day, works third shift. Both kids have Special needs. I never get a break, or barely time for myself. Little or no sleep.
I also work two days per week. Even that, doesn't make me happy.
Lately, I've felt so alone, even in a home full of people who love me.
Believe me, I wish you luck, dear.
And, I really should start praying for you. You need it.
Happy birthday, Cowboy.
My mind slips more and more each day.
It sucks, and what can you say. You just keep on trying, and sooner or later something is bound to come up.
There are many people in your same position, have you tried promoting and selling your photography and/or poems? I know it is easier said than done.
It is easy for someone to sit back and advise you or offer suggestions, but it is out of friendship and caring. It's frustrating to want to help but can't. The best I can say is Hang In There and keep moving forward instead of allowing yourself to give in and sink! I wish I could help more......................xoxo
Thanks for adding Nuttin' But Sunshine to -- Sun Bespeckled Ink!
Only I am older by a number of three
A J - O - B would sure be a treat
But my butt keeps hanging to close to the street
I'm old, I know, and cannot compete
With younger folks who can stay on their feet
And those who work for lower wages
Keep me looking through employment pages
Some day I hope to be making some money
An artist writing poems about love, and my honey
As far as love it comes when you least expect it.
Happy early Birthday
just before you draw your terminal breath....
Here goes...
ANYONE READING THIS SHOULD CLICK ON TRACY'S PROVIDED LINK.
You have made friends all over the world.
You will leave a beautiful legacy of poetry and prose.
And I do hope you have not really let Streaker catch mange.
We love you ya know.
On the INTANGIBLES, I am quite wealthy, and I know that.
pillow whisperer
and I won't tell steaker you called her a mangy mutt!
Ha ha.
A wonderful poetry from an evergreen brother who still can find a new friend to walk with any day.
pillow whisperer
Falling Foliage, Inspired by Keats
a new poetic.
Sorry that things still are not going that well but you have lots of friends (people who really care about you & Streaker) your health (trust me, one does not know how important that is until you don't have that). Have faith, remember we are never given more than we can handle, even if we don't think so!!