Jonas and Mommy's Rose-Colored Glasses (short short story)

As everyone knows, children are impressionable. Little Jonas, just shy of his third birthday, had gotten into mommy's purse and took out the rose colored glasses his mommy wore everywhere. She often said while wearing these glasses, 'My whole world is rosy with my sweet baby boy Jonas.'

Now most anyone could see why these glasses would be alluring to Jonas. He was past that stage of playing with mommy's keys.

Dare Jonas be a good boy and understand these glasses are not a toy? Well, the thought simply had not occurred to him. Why should it? Mommy always smiled when wearing these glasses.

'Neat!' Jonas loudly blurted this out once he got the glasses on and this got the adults, who had been ignoring him, to suddenly freeze and look at him. 'How cute' seemed to be what everyone was saying, which of course Jonas already knew.

'Oh my Lord! Get a camera, please,' his mommy seemed quite excited to see him with her rose colored glasses on. Jonas was starting to put two and two together and remembered a TV show where a man wearing raisin colored glasses was signing autographs.

'What can I do?,' Jonas coolly and collectively thought. The problem was elemental. Jonas simply had not yet learned the alphabet. Jonas decided then and there to pay more attention to soup. 'Well,' he mused, 'If mommy wants my autograph, I just write an X.'

Well, the photographs were taken, mommy traded Jonas a pinecone for the glasses and mommy's purse was put out of reach. The adults went back to ignoring Jonas.

How much can you do with a pinecone? There might be a good reason they're not sold in store Toy Departments. Jonas quickly tired of this new toy and decided to be a spy, listening in on conversations like he had seen on TV.

Yes, Jonas was a TV junkie at this early age. He was a master at the remote. Jonas, with ear cocked, overheard two men say there was a possibility of three feet of snow by morning. Of course Jonas was alarmed. Wouldn't you be? Jonas thought, 'Feet stink,' and then started thinking about all the empty tennis shoes in the clouds. He had to tell someone and already has.