Well, I had to hurry Santa was almost on his way. I read the naughty list and came across the following names. First I saw Marianne K and wondered what she could have done, but thankfully Santa had written notes for every naughty one. Seems last Christmas Marianne left Santa vegemite, instead of cookies and a note he thought a slight. It read, 'Muddled mind or not Vegemite rules!!!' and Santa thought this not too cool. This must have made Santa cross. The next name I saw was Jim Ross. Jim had written, 'If your wish comes true, you'll make Santa late for his rounds.' and Santa said, 'so it was you' who caused me to be late to your town. Now Santa does not fool around or procrastinate and the next name I saw was April H. Santa is jolly, but April said, 'Don't ya just love that belly!' and Santa thought she was calling him fat and that's a no no for a fact. I wondered if this had caused Santa to throw a fit, when I saw the next name was Flit. Santa crossed her off the nice list when he saw her write, 'tree still not decorated' and here it was nearing Christmas Eve night. I started humming a simple hymn and the next name I saw was Marilyn M. who said, 'I never did get a tree up.' and this had made Santa have the hiccups. Next was a lady named Sharon who never wore an apron and said, 'so now I think I'm frickin sick' and Santa is rather strict about using F words and this put her on the naughty list. Next was Lacey k, but her reason was left on her home page.
Deborah O was next on the page and Santa's notes said her words were not okay. She had written, 'Long live the electric car' and such words gave Santa a jar, for what if reindeer got such an idea they would not want to pull the sleigh, but have a car with a special flying gear. Next was Sue D who had made a big mistake by writing 'I love Frosty!' on her window pane. Now Frosty and Santa are enemies, so Sue is on the naughty list for this I believe. Next was Roses4 who had said, 'Christmas is a sad time of year.' Santa had to put her on the naughty list for saying this and he had also drawn a tear. Next was Chuck M and I didn't see a note, so I asked Santa why nothing or a quote. Santa said, 'The photograph has 3 people standing there. I know all 3 can't been Chuck M and I don't want to pull out my hair.' Next was Leah C who I thought was quite nice, but she had a quote that said 'Dirty Dancing' and Santa wondered if she did such in Guelph Ontario at night. Lou Anne was next on the list and I laughed at her quote, 'notin like a good ole nose pickin to show the way', but this gave Santa quite a jolt as he wondered, 'Would Rudolph use this as an excuse to cause delay.' Now J Wright was next on the list and his quote left me confused. It read, 'Merry Christmas sorry the jerk was rude to you.' Santa can be a bit paranoid and thought this quote was for you know who. Next was Priscilla and her quote, 'Grumpy old men' Santa thought was a mean joke. The last name on the page was Robert B and his quote, 'But the cactus are so delightful' was not something that filled Santa with glee. For Santa had once sat on a cactus by mistake and was not pleased nor thought this delightful as you can see.
I flipped the page and there was just one name. It was Elaine B and there was a mistake obviously made. Santa had noted she wrote only nice thoughts and had great kindness for puppy dogs. I showed this to Santa and asked why she was on the naughty list, but he could not recall and said, 'What is this?!'. He said, 'I'll add her name to the nice list, but now I must go. Is there anything else I missed but the David Letterman Show?' I said, 'Where's Rudolph?' and Santa said, 'Rudolph's feeling faint, so instead of a reindeer, my lead will be a horse aptly named Paint.' I was amazed to see this, then I saw a llama and said, 'Where's Cupid?' Santa winked, smiled and said, 'Cupid is ill and in his bed. His place is being taken by a llama named Flickertail.' I thought Flickertail was a great P. I. And something seemed fishy, but I could not say why. Santa then boarded his sleigh and flew off into the starry night to put smiles on Children of today and to wish all a Merry Christmas tonight.
P.S. I almost forgot Gerry Waas. He is on the nice list and will get the bugs in his garden that Santa said was first of his Christmas wants.