Here is where lonely begins
hand on brass knob
one last glance back
to an already gone room.
Hands on a steering wheel
out of the driveway
and a pause to shift
all but the eyes.
Hoard a reason to wave
though thinking still,
half hoping to find
a glimpse of a face.
Hold the silence in radio days
and wine winded nights
vigilant front windows
glance down the street.
Home remembers a name
patient for the prodigal
and a well-lit corner
cries out a soft come in.
(Republished for the Poetry Review Contest)
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Comments: 61
I also hope you don't have any illusions about the nature of winning a contest. I believe that, with poetry, the most important aspect is the satisfaction of completion, of getting it said just the way you want to say it.
Then comes the fun of seeing if anyone else feels the same way. Did the poem work, or do the comments reveal other meanings you didn't see or even intend to include?
I actually am not fond of poetry, but I enjoy people who strive to write it. People who create poems -- where not one aspect of the finished piece is not considered and weighed -- usually write very well, no matter what they are writing. I loved the discussions of famous/classical poems in my English classes, where we broke the entire work down: why this word? why this pattern or rhythm? why so long or so short?
Poetry is the art of fitting the most possible impact into the fewest possible words -- but it is always subjective. Either we get it or we don't, depending on how familiar the topic may be.
Contests ignore all of that, and as such, are unfair. I enjoy your poems, Faith, and usually read them more than once, even if I never post a comment. I love the way you bring me to some new state of mind or experience, and then leave me free to explore it for myself; your style always leaves open spaces where we personalize the experiences.
Dannielle, fear not, I write and publish for me and hope that others find a connection to my world. I'm glad you read my pieces even if you don't like poetry! And winning is not the goal, I am just tickled to have the opportunity to try.
John, Jessie, Ron and Bob, you are so very kind with your comments.
Anyway, like Ron so poetically said before me, this poem ages well. Thanks for giving us another sip.
Magi is right in persuading you to post this poem again. It has a lot of character and richness. Your title for the poem is gripping enough to pull all my thoughts into it. The poem is a gem.
Good luck!
Julian, thank you for taking the time to read again, I know your plate is full so I appreciate it all the more.
Ina, glad to bring this back for you.
Duckie, I can't believe you remembered (or forgot, whichever!) thanks.
Minnie, you are very kind, and the title is rather interesting.
10 stars are not enough for this. But I'll give you 10 anyway.
Magi, you are an inspiration, thank you for the feature.
Marianne, you are too sweet, I am glad to see you here.
(but you know me, my favourite all time poem is that one about the guy from Nantucket..)
Caroyln, old girl, if you had left such a comment, I would have suspected that your name and icon had been hijacked by some softheaded alien. It's fine, really, you can just leave me laughing.
Nantucket, indeed!
Best of luck!
Cindy, such memories, yes?
steve the legend, cool! gotcha!
Terry, that whisper brings us home.
Welcome to certified souls! Could you republish this so I can feature it? Please????
I was somehow drawn to your page and this poem.
It's so good. You paint pictures so vividly that one can't pass over them too quickly. There's just too much to see.
Look I'm going to have to read it again. You say so much but a lot of what you radiate is actually unsaid. Have I said that right?
Well done.
Ed, you remain my inspiration also.
Linda, thanks!
Birdie, you know, that one line seems to resonate for all of us. I am so pleased you like it.
Bravo!
Tom, I appreciate your reading this. That it ellicited that kind of response in you is gratifying.
because i CAN
and because i have not commented here yet, have i?
oh.... and the TEN STARS.
and faith, you don't know lonely until you have been
to downtown salt lake city.
you know i love this poem.
Bart, it means alot to me that you commented on this again.
(and what, the Osmonds were out of town?)
I don't normally like "happy endings" as such, but this just felt right; natural, yet not expected. I loved this piece! In a way, recently, I have turned that knob, seen the room already gone, missed too the glimpse of a face and wonder, still, if I'll ever hear that soft "come in". Great work.
Tonia, that's what I was hoping to evoke, that feeling as you drive past a home in the evening, windows open and lights on, and somehow you can feel the love and hear the welcome.
This poem is familiar territory. You've phrased everything just right.
Heather, many thanks for reading this.