by Faith H.
Member since:
November 17, 2005

Stranded

July 25, 2007 09:19 PM UTC
views: 0 | comments: 36

 

The sails flap listless in a damp dead wind.

Sheets limp on the bow, she glances toward a

blank horizon, lost in the distance.

 

Below deck, frustration and words fill the void.

But here, silence on deck, the flat grey liquid..

No thought of rescue, as if she could walk on water.

 

Anger won’t cure this, winds won’t blow this along.

The distance is deeper and colder than any bay water.

Bridges can’t be built in a day, not by any mermaid.

 

Out there, the dolphins try to follow a dream

but quit in wise appreciation of Atlantis.

They are too sleek for this particular world.

 

Slow drifting towards an unknown shore, where

love and life settle in a brackish berth.

No safe anchor as she realizes she is stranded.

 

(Republished for the Poetry Review contest)

Comments: 36

Tonia, who hugs trees G. Jul 25, 2007, 9:26pm UTC
Faith - this is good - I remember it from when you first published it and it seems to have grown better with this new reading. Your images capture so strongly that place where so many of us have found ourselves, and left the reader to find their own resolution. Really well done.
Faith H. Jul 25, 2007, 9:30pm UTC
Tonia, thanks, as I republished this, I had to remove the original, and you were the first commentor there too!
John F Walter Jul 25, 2007, 9:31pm UTC
A complex nautical field of metaphors for an absurdist situation, that allows us through the sound of a desperate melancholy in alliterative form--¨damp dead wind¨, the distance is deeper¨, ¨brackish berth--and the growing sense of anxious entrapment, to fully recognize this character´s plight: A mind adrift--¨silence on deck, the flat grey liquid...¨--a sense of the familiar now impossibly remote, fantasy unavailable as an escape--¨the dolphins try to follow a dream/ but quit¨--as if everything in the ocean of experience, from ¨blank horizon¨to the ¨below deck¨of unbearable feelings as voices, has abandoned the self to oblivion.

An existential moment of spiritual emergency perfectly captured, Faith.
Faith, the imagery of this is crystal sharp and the feelings tangible. I am there with you, as an unseen observer. I feel the frustration and the anger brooding below decks of the yacht dead in the listless air and drifting on the lapping grey waters. And I feel the being stranded between the harbour of brackish life and love and the blank and lost horizon. Elegantly said and strong, my friend.

I wish you the very best of luck in the Poetry Review contest.
Faith H. Jul 25, 2007, 9:38pm UTC
John, this one of mine is most personal, and entwined in the grand scape of the life here on the edge of Mobile Bay. I'm most pleased to have your take on this piece.
Laurie White Jul 25, 2007, 9:56pm UTC
Faith, I missed this the first time around I think (or my memory is totally gone). You do a wonderful job bringing us into this, like we are stranded right there along with her. Sometimes I feel like this, only I'm stranded on land.
Faith H. Jul 25, 2007, 10:06pm UTC
Magi, I treasure your comments and wishes, thank you dear friend.

Laurie, so glad to see you here! I thought you might enjoy this one, thank you for stopping here.
Ron B. Jul 25, 2007, 10:09pm UTC
Mobile Bay seems like a magic place to me, but then again, I've always seen it through the eyes of an outsider. Love the poem.
MW Q. Jul 26, 2007, 12:02am UTC
Faith,
There are far deeper meanings running in these lines than I canfathom. The reference to Atlantis as opposed to sleek olphins is intriguing. Stranded in a life situation? Where even the unknown seems safer than the known?
Very interesting poem, Faith.
David D. Gilbaugh Jul 26, 2007, 2:37am UTC
Wow
I loved it. Multi-layered meaning with a bent toward kinesthetic sensuality. Excellent. I would think you have a winner here and you certainly have my vote.
Thanks for reposting this - contest or not. Well done....
elizabeth evans Jul 26, 2007, 6:49am UTC
You know Faith, I read this last night several times...and the meaning eluded me....and as I read the comments from John and Magi, I knew I had nothing to add and so I remained silent. But then Magi urged me once again to revisit the poem and this morning I made my own connection. I imagine Papa feels this way as he goes about his days....frustration that he no longer thinks or acts like the real person he was before the stroke...and although I keep throwing him a lifeline...it is difficult for him to grasp that there can be a life to lead a life that has equal merit to the one he led before.
amanda w. Jul 26, 2007, 7:26am UTC
With your incredible metaphors you capture the gloom and doom of a distressed soul. Freedom elludes her and no words can revive her spirit. You encapsulate the plight of depression. Extremely well done my poet laureate!
Ina ♥ ♥ Jul 26, 2007, 7:33am UTC
That was very enjoyable Faith. Thank you.
Bart H. Jul 26, 2007, 9:14am UTC
There is that joke:

The only difference between being on a boat or in prison is that you can escape from prison.

I love this poem, Faith. It describes resignation to abandonment by the wind and by a relationship on a vessel that one actually chose to board. But I am such a literal guy. I think I would feel more helpless about the boat than the relationship.
elizabeth evans Jul 26, 2007, 2:11pm UTC
Though this was personal to your situation when you found love and life settling "in a brackish berth"....Papa too found that to be the case...and many times I catch him glancing towards "a black horizon". Though personal to you...this poem speaks to many in far different circumstances....
Faith H. Jul 26, 2007, 2:46pm UTC
This is a delightful abundance of my favorite people and I thank you all. It came out of the end of the long ago marriage and sailing was indeed involved, as Bart posited. (Who knew he was so astute?)

Bob, indeed, I consider it a great compliment when others are able to insert themselves into a poem.
Linda K. Jul 27, 2007, 9:23am UTC
I love "...the distance is deeper and colder than any bay water". I have felt that futility and you have nailed it in this beautiful poem.
Bluey B. Jul 27, 2007, 1:51pm UTC
Hello Faith.On my brief visit to gather ,I'm so glad I came upon your poem.
I enjoyed it very much.Wish you well with the comp....ox.
Faith H. Jul 27, 2007, 4:08pm UTC
Linda, I'm glad this clicked for you.

Bluey, dear person, I hope all is well with you, thank you so much for reading this.
Faith H. Jul 28, 2007, 4:42pm UTC
Liz, you are too sweet, thank you.
Synchronicity W. Jul 30, 2007, 8:36pm UTC
did you win the contest? love the imagery and how your words flow. you are the quintessentail poetess.
Faith H. Jul 30, 2007, 9:20pm UTC
Thanks, Audrey, even though FB10 is a new one to me. Fly By?

Synch, the contest runs until this weekend, but thank you for enjoying the piece.
Tom C. Aug 13, 2007, 12:06am UTC
Wow, Faith! Too good! Most of what I felt has been commented on already - the way the nautical metaphor worked so well, the resigned sense where even the dolphins are abandoning this world for Atlantis, and, my favorite:

Slow drifting towards an unknown shore, where
love and life settle in a brackish berth.

Brackish berth just screams stagnation to me.

This was really a pleasure to read and re-read. I hope you win (or won) the contest.
Debbie G. Aug 29, 2007, 2:38pm UTC
Faith, the helpless adrift that I feel from this piece really speaks to me. Intense and beautiful just as it stands I find myself wanting a paddle in my hands.
Faith H. Aug 29, 2007, 3:24pm UTC
I never got back here to thank Tom! Thanks, Tom.

And Amy, I appreciate your reading this and feeling the mood.

Debbie, I understand how you might feel the need for a paddle, or a good gust of wind!
Christine P. Sep 5, 2007, 9:24am UTC
I love how you use metaphors of the sea to describe life. Very well written.
Susan B. Sep 5, 2007, 1:59pm UTC
excellent!! So much imagery! So many metaphors! Beautiful :)
Faith H. Sep 5, 2007, 9:27pm UTC
Christine, thank you.

Umar, I am honored that you enjoyed this.

Susan, you are very kind, thanks.
Glenn T. Sep 6, 2007, 1:17am UTC
Great images, Faith. Visible and invisible tempests. Above and below deck resonance. Winds to catch hold of or hold in place.
Laura M. Sep 24, 2007, 10:10pm UTC
The fluidity of the surround, though impermeable and uncrossable, creating a liquid medium for this poem to float through a transitional 'running aground" of the heart yields a sense of directionless adventure that lacks the wind or sparks to make the journey one of nourishment, joy, wisdom or any other valuable pursuit. The confines of the boat force the yet unfaced division above and below deck to merge and the alluded choice to wait, to rest, to float....seems somehow not futile but empowering. i loved this poem.

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